1. If you don’t do your pelvic floor exercises, your tampon will fall out.
Gross I know, but you will cough and it feels like it’s going to shoot across the floor. It’s one of those things you tend to forget about and I half thought I was safe having a c-section. Apparently not. Since realising your stomach/pelvis are like one big sack of muscles that don’t work anymore after they’re cut, I’ve been getting on the exercises like there’s no tomorrow. The long holds, the pulses, the lot. I’ve got to try and find myself a partner at some point which is going to be substantially more difficult if I’m in Tena lady ultras. Let alone when she wants to go to air hop in a few years.
2. You will find yourself rocking even when you aren’t holding your baby.
So many times now I’ve been standing in the queue in Zara and I find myself rocking and jiggling from side to side. People look at me like I’m an absolute nutter but I do it so much, it just comes naturally.
3. Lifts are a bloody treck.
You can’t just pop down to the ground floor anymore because you missed a shop. They are so inconveniently placed and always take so long. The worst part about it is, they’re always full of angry, stressed out mums and you have to politely smile at them and their snot-nosed child whilst trying not to pass out from claustrophobia.
4. The first few weeks after you have your baby, everyone is your best friend.
You don’t realise how many people you even knew and you feel like all you do is reply to texts. Everyone turns up at your doorstep wanting a cuddle and you barely get one yourself. Except for at night. No one wants a cuddle then. A few months later, no one wants to know you. It’s you making the effort to see them and they’re always busy or don’t invite you to things because they don’t want a baby there.
5. You’ll never drink a hot cup of tea again.
It’s a rarity you actually get to make one then when you do, you’re too busy to drink it and it ends up just luke warm. Then you can’t have it hot even when you get the chance because they swipe it out of your hand. I thought Isabella was asleep the other day whilst feeding so I tried to eat some of my cake, next thing I know she’s got a fistful of lemon drizzle and is cramming it into her mouth. Oops.
It’s a good job you love them I’ll tell you!